And I stayed...

Fuck the believe that her way's the only way

and her feelings are the only ones that matter.

She made me feel lonely

even when she was there...

And I stayed.

She turned her back on me when help was needed  

And as insignificant I was discarded once again…

But even then,

I stayed!

Then there's hating the grayness of the lady downstairs

and the dirty little secrets that lie where she dwells.

The dust in her hands and the dirt in her space

are constant reminders of how unclean I felt with her.

Needless to say,

I never got the pleasure

of success in the cleanse...

But still,

I tried

and I stayed.

The filthy water, the rotten food, the ugly smells,

penetrated deep within the cracks

Suddenly turning themselves

into the existing undying dirt.

It must be Learned,

some things need to be thrown away,

space needs to be made...

there are things older than me in there

and they keep growing everywhere.

And if things must be ugly,

so be it,

when you already tried making them look their best.

She sucked, she chewed and spit my feelings

she devours bones the same way.

The empty spots behind her lips

only make me remember

the scarceness of goodness

directed my way…

and yet, I stayed.

I found myself despising how unlovable she made me feel

and walking on eggshells for her not to irate.

Even still,

In a heartbeat,

joy to rage.

Watch what you say!

Watch what you do!

Keep your feeling in check!

Keep to yourself!

and still

I chose to stay.

  Did she even know,

all I would have done for her

and how little she was willing to devote?

Her nonexistent empathy

should have blown the cover;

I should have walked away.

But instead, I stayed.

How's the crazy lady upstairs?  

Did she open the door?

Did she change?

Has she progressed?

Oh, how little I belonged!,

Oh, how worthless I felt!

How inconsiderate you were..

But today,

with confidence,

I can definitely say,

I'm extremely glad I left!